Dark Nights, Tantric Dynamics, the Anatomy of Emotions & Just What the Fuck is Going On?

Artwork by A. Andrew Gonzalez ( www.sublimatrix.com )



Every instant teaches us everything if we have the Heart to listen. And even if we don't it teaches us anyways. The Great Perfection has dawned in this body-mind. Everything has gone wrong in the last two days and in my life in general & it has been exactly what I have needed to evolve. I've been depressed most of my God-given life. Over the last few years of spiritual seeking and the dissolution of spiritual seeking over the last two years, I have learned to relax as Witness and allow the energies of depression to float through me. Through Integral Practice and psychotherapy I have discovered that the apparent depression was my true anger, its energy turned inward. The energy of this anger, now released is now pulsing through my body with such force now that it is freed. The Ma Shakti (Kundalini) has been gradually increasing for the last three years. Emotion plays a big role in the understanding of these energies, both positive and negative. My life has been one of extremes and experiencing polar opposites in order to transcend them. I begin to see others in new ways, energy patterns of emotions that play out between people. Relationships are so fascinating, and we understand so little about who we are. What is this Us? How have we created our view of the world, imagining we are looking through a body encapsulated ego? Thank God for these forces that mold us and shape us. I am forged by the flames of my Ma. She has cut me into a million pieces. I rise to her test. She is my Heartbeat. The violent forces of the earth allowed the biosphere to emerge. There seems to be a similar violence occurring in the noosphere. What will emerge?

Friend, in the Desolate Time

Friend, in the desolate time, when your soul
is enshrouded in darkness
When, in a deep abyss, memory and feeling
die out,
Intellect timidly gropes among shadowy forms
and illusions
Heart can no longer sigh, eye is unable
to weep;
When, from your night-clouded soul the wings
of fire have fallen
And you, to nothing, afraid, feel
yourself sinking once more,
Say, who rescues you then?—Who is the
comforting angel
Brings to your innermost soul order and
beauty again,
Building once more your fragmented world,
restoring the fallen
Altar, and when it is raised, lighting
the sacred flame?-—
None but the powerful being who first from
the limitless darkness
Kissed to life seraphs and woke
numberless suns to their dance.
None but the holy Word who called the worlds
into existence
And in whose power the worlds move on
their paths to this day.
Therefore, rejoice, oh friend, and sing in
the darkness of sorrow:
Night is the mother of day, Chaos the
neighbor of God.

Erik Johan Stagnelius
Translated from the Swedish by Bill Coyle